Intro: C  G  Am  G  F  G

Am                    F                 C     G
The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Am                   F            C                        G
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a xxxx
Am          F                       C            G
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Am           F                  C                   Em      F
Surprisingly I don't use my own omnipotence to be a ******* creep


           Am       G      F
You're not going to heaven
                     Am             G               F
Why the xxxx did you think I'd ever kick it with you
                Am       G
None of you are going to heaven
F                  Am     G              F
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you

Interlude: F  F  F

Am            G                      
You shouldn't abstain from rape just 
Am                      G            F
because you think that I want you to

Interlude: F  F  F

Am                                   G                    C
You shouldn't rape because rape is a xxxxed up thing to do

Interlude: C  G  Am  G  F  G
-It's pretty obvious just don't ******* **** people
I didn't think I had to write that one down for you.-


Am            F                      C        G
I don't think masturbation is obscene
Am              F               C        
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest 
                   G             Am
******* thing I've ever seen
            F                 C        G
You make my job a living hell
Am             F                 C
I sent gays to fix overpopulation
            G       F
Didn't that go well


           Am       G            F
You're not going to heaven
               Am              G            F
Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns
                Am       G            F
None of you are going to heaven
              Am               G                F
You're not my children you're a bad game of sims

Interlude: F  F  F

Am                         G                Am           G          F
You shouldn't abstain from pork because you think that I want you to

Interlude: F  F  F

Am                       G                           C
You can eat pork because why the xxxx would I give a xxxx

Interlude: C  G  Am  G  F  G
-I created the uniVerse you think I'm drawing 
the line at the ******* deliaisle?-


Am                F              C          G
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Am           F          C                     G       Am
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
     F                  C           G
Over what they think is true
Am         F              C                               G             F
But no one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you
            Am        G            F
You pray so badly for heaven
                Am         G            F
knowing any day may be the day that you die
                  Am             G           F
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
                         Am            G              F
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try

Interlude: F  F  F

F                     C          F                 G
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
             C     F         C        G
And when you earn it you won't need it


Am                 G                 Am            G       F
I'm not gonna give love just cause I know that you want me to
Am                                G                  C
If you want love then the love is gonna come from you

Interlude: C  G  Am  G  F  G